Picking up Amunoo

WE were hesitant on this day, nervous really. Not because we were scared to be parents - no we're definitely ready. It is just that we didn't know if he was. This was our fourth visit and we had established with the Orphanage and our Agency that this day, Saturday, December 7th would be the day we would take custody of our beautiful boy. It just seemed so fast to us. I wanted him yesterday but our Amanuel only knew this orphanage as home - it seemed rushed - it seemed mean. But, we moved forward, a little out of genuine selfishness and a little out of our sense of commitment and a little because we weren't sure if we would ever know when the RIGHT time was. WE arrived at the orphanage with our bag full of mixed emotions and were given a more thorough tour this time which lasted about a half hour. We saw a project that the orphanage is aligned to - a women's empowerment training facility that is within the orphanage compound. This amazing venture teaches unskilled women the crafts of sewing or hair dressing or weaving and bead making. I will be bringing some scarfs home to sell - they are beautiful pashminas and they go for real cheap - so save some of your Christmas budget for this amazing school. Ok, back to Amanuel. Once we were finished with our tour, we were brought to Amanuel who immediately began to cry when he saw us - as if he knew his whole life would be uprooted in just an hour or so. The nanny who handed him to me fervently kissed him all over and then almost threw him at me and ran away crying. I went to her and said thank you and we hugged and cried together. She loved him - genuine, maternal love and I couldn't imagine how she felt in that moment. Again with the pull of different emotions. Admittedly, there was a sense of jealously, after all I wish I got to spend the first year of his life with him. And then there was SHEER, overpowering gratitude for teaching him HOW to love and that he is worth being loved. When I think of that moment it will go down in MY personal history as one that so overwhelms me that I can hardly take it. WE then took Amanuel and hid from the nannies in a little room with a bright blue couch, while we waited for another family to finish their 1st visit with their son. The hour or so spent in that room was hard - he screamed for his "Umma" (his favorite nanny) the whole time as Darryl and I rocked and tried to console him - passing him back and forth as each of our arms went numb. The nurse came in and soothed him with some food and gave us a sheet of paper containing his eating schedule and nap times and another with his immunizations. Sidenote: all the adoption experts say that you should continue the child's current diet and schedule so as not to traumatize, overstimulate, etc. However, I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME, continue feeding my baby Mr. Noodles and so we've completely changed his diet and he is adjusting wonderfully. Girmachew came and got us and we headed to the van. I know I am a romantic, but again we found ourselves in the middle of a very anticlimactic end to what seems to me should be a very momentous occasion. I did not expect a marching band but some sort of fanfare would have been great - after all we were officially parenting this baby from then on and he was leaving the only home he'd known and we had signed a waiver and everything. Nonetheless, we climbed into the van and the moment we did, he settled down. He LOVED it. Girmachew said he was probably in a car 1 or 2 times in his life. He stared out the window as if he had known the car his whole life and in that moment, I saw a glimmer of "we're going to be fine".